Today is a good day.

This morning my Dad texted me a photo of today's Toronto Star and asked “Remember this guy?” Pictured in the photo was Dr. Peter Dirks, who threw out the first pitch at the Toronto Blue Jays game yesterday. Coincidentally, 15 years ago today Dr. Peter Dirks performed brain surgery on me and my life was forever changed. Some people think there are no coincidences. Well, whatever you believe, I thought it was pretty cool that Dad texted me with his face the same day that Dr. Dirks was very much on my mind. 

15 years later I have learned two major lessons from my time with Dirksey:

1. You’re going to die one day. Like, it’s shitty, I know, but it’s also true and the sooner you feel that realness in the depth of yourself the less you’ll care that your tummy isn’t as flat as it once was or that you heard someone was spreading a rumour about you that isn’t true. You’re actually going to be dead one day. Like dead dead. BULLSHIT DOESN’T MATTER! You know what matters? Living from your heart. Doing the best you can every day. That’s the real stuff. No one faced with their own mortality dies peacefully knowing that they replied to all the emails in their Inbox. At the end of the road, there are very few things that matter. Whatever those are for you hold them close and love them fiercely. 
   
   
2. The second lesson that having brain surgery taught me is that you can goal set, manifest, envision, whatever you want to call it, and life has other plans - that’s not the lesson though - I spent 13 years post-surgery feeling like a victim to my circumstance. When my pituitary gland was removed my fertility, my body, my life’s path, and my innocence went with it. This was something I struggled against for years. I felt like it wasn’t fair. I had to take medication everyday. I couldn’t have kids. My body’s systems were no longer functioning optimally. I had to have MRIs and be followed by a team of doctors forever. My joint were lose and I was prone to injuring myself. My memory was impaired. I couldn’t pursue math/science anymore. I was behind a year in school. The list goes on and on. It wasn’t fucking fair!
   
   13 years post-surgery my daughter found me and I saw the path that had brought us together and the fork in the road was my surgery. Had I gone right, I don’t know if I’d be kissing her little face this morning. The surgery sent me kicking and screaming to the left. 
   
   Had I known that all that struggle would lead her to me - if only I knew the joys that being her mother would bring me - I’d have been the first in line to have that surgery. I’d have it again every single day. 
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Life may toss a fork in the road but, if you follow this new path, magic beyond your wildest dreams may await the other side of your biggest struggle.
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Today is a good day.